When you are pregnant with your first child, handy dandy little lists of what to expect are everywhere you look. A simple google search will reveal lists, advice columns and blogs galore highlighting all the important things you need to know about having your first child. Information is everywhere. Things change when you are pregnant with your second child. I guess people assume you know it all by the time you get to this point. I mean you've already had a kid, so really what else is new?
A lot I've learned. If anything, this second pregnancy has been harder than my first. Although I've experienced the rodeo before, I'm riding a whole new bull. Here is a list of things I wish someone had told me prior to pregnancy #2:
1. You will "feel" pregnant a whole lot sooner. I was sorely unprepared for this little tidbit. Although morning sickness hit early on and continued throughout my pregnancy with my daughter, I didn't really "feel" pregnant till late second/early third trimester. By feel, I mean that undeniable physical ache that overtakes your body and morphs you into a ninety year old. Before I even made it through my first trimester, I had that pregnancy feel. My stomach felt heavier, my back ached, sleep became difficult, I even looked pregnant earlier. The timetable is certainly sped up the second time around.
2. Don't expect this pregnancy to be similar or different from your first. This pregnancy will be its own. Since I spent the entirety, and I mean entirety, of my first pregnancy battling morning sickness, I was sure the pregnancy gods would play it easy on me the second time around. Nope. I've spent the last thirty weeks sick as a dog. Although it is your second go around, it is still a whole new human you are creating. Just as no two people are created the same, neither are any two pregnancies.
3. Exhaustion is an understatement. I spent my entire first trimester of my first pregnancy going to work, coming home and sleeping until the next day when I would do it all over again. I thought I knew what exhaustion was then, although a newborn quickly disproved that theory. However, now I think I am as equally exhausted as I was when I had a newborn. I think this point is especially true for people who have their kids close together. My daughter was 8 months old when I found out I was pregnant. She wasn't sleeping through the night yet, which meant neither was I. My sleep schedule is determined by hers and I have a child who DOES NOT nap. A non napping child means a non napping Momma.
4. You have another child to take care of. I know this is pretty obvious. Second pregnancy means you already have one child, but somehow this thought never *really* crossed my mind till I was completely overcome with exhaustion. With this pregnancy, I can't just drop everything and take a nap when I feel like it or hop into the bathtub for an hour long soak. Now I get to throw up and then go make my daughter lunch.
5. Making appointments is a pain in the arse. Since I am a SAHM, you would think it would be pretty easy to schedule doctor and lab appointments. How I wish that was true. Instead, I have to coordinate all of my appointments with my husband's days off. I didn't do that once and I will never make that mistake again. It is not fun trying to hold your wiggling toddler while the doctor tries to measure your fundal height and forget about getting lab work done. That was a complete disaster.
6. Time flies by. I'm 30 weeks into this gig and it seriously feels as though I just found out I was pregnant. I can't emphasize enough how fast pregnancy flies when you already have children in the house.
7. Being informed can make for interesting doctor's appointments. I'm no longer a newbie. I know what it feels like to have your baby kick, what Braxton Hicks contractions feel like and what labor is all about. It also means I'm not as likely to take the doctor's advice/concerns/tests as openly as I did last time. Although I've always been a big researcher and questioned a lot with my last pregnancy, I'm finding myself questioning things even more this go around. My appointments are always quite entertaining as I take the more natural approach and my doctor obviously takes a more medical approach. I believe knowledge is power and I appreciate the fact that I have more knowledge this time around.
8. Rude comments only increase. I honestly thought the advice and comments of strangers would not be a factor this time around. I mean I have a child, a living child, to prove that I am capable of parenting. That's not good enough for people though. It only invites more criticism as now people feel they can not only comment on your current pregnancy, but your parenting job thus far with your other child. Rudest comment to date, "Surely you are going to do things differently this time around." If pregnancy teaches you anything, it should be there is no limit to what can come out of people's mouths.
Second timers, what else would you add to this list? What do you wish people had told you beforehand? What did you learn along the way?
