Thursday, February 21, 2013

Confessions of the Crunchy


Confession 1:  I’m a babywearing momma.

Hands down, without a question, the best baby device we ever bought was our Boba (yes, it even beats out my beloved BumGenius diapers, which I seriously have a crush on).  Research proves that babywearing is extremely beneficial to babies (and parents). From my real life experience there is no way I would ever consider not doing it. 

Babywearing allows my daughter to be close to me, which helps her regulate her digestion and breathing.  It lets her actually see people’s faces, as opposed to their kneecaps (which is the view most strollers offer).  She can see how I interact with others and how I handle different stimuli.  It offers her the chance to bury her head in my chest when she is overwhelmed or to look around eagerly when she is exposed to a new setting.  It lets me kiss her sweet little head whenever I want and offers us plenty of chances to communicate.  I’m able to do household chores, like dishes, laundry and cooking, all with her pressed close to my heart.  Plus, it is so much easier to throw the Boba on and put her in it then it is to get out a stroller.  Since we are a huge outdoor family, it has allowed us to continue hiking and exploring as most places we go a stroller wouldn’t.  My husband jokes that the Boba has seen more miles than my car, which honestly might not be all that false.

Confession 2:  I’m a co-sleeping momma.

            It makes sense that if I want my daughter close to me during the day, I would want her close to me at night as well.  I love snuggling with her in bed and the reassurance I get when I wake up in the middle of the night with her right next to me.  She just recently, within this month actually, began sleeping through the night.  Having her in bed with me gave me an opportunity to calm her without necessarily having to get out of bed.  Any sleep deprived momma out there knows even a few extra minutes of sleep is gold.  The best bonus out of this is seeing my husband and daughter cuddle together when I wake up before them.

 
          Although my real life experiences with babywearing and co-sleeping assure me that both things are the right fit for my family, I have learned this past year that a lot of individuals are strongly opposed to both practices. Although I have found a safe haven at Eco Chic Baby, friends, family and perfect strangers on the street have made it deafeningly clear to me that my choices aren’t quite the norm.  “How is your daughter ever going to learn to walk if you carry her everywhere?”  “You can suffocate your child by sleeping with them.”  “You are damaging your child by keeping her that close to you.  Parents need their own space.”  Yadda yadda yadda.  It seems everyone has an opinion once you have a child and most aren’t afraid to share it (even though you would gladly pay them not too).  I know some of you out there are shaking your heads in agreement right now as I honestly think it’s a universal phenomenon that all new parents encounter.

Confession 3:  I’m 28 weeks pregnant.

      
          But, what I didn’t know was the advice only gets worse with your second pregnancy (I can only imagine what people say on third, fourth, etc pregnancies).  To date this is my favorite statement – “You’re going to do it differently this time around, right?”  I have gotten this same statement, worded a little differently each time, more times than I can count.  95% of them have come while I was wearing my daughter in the Boba.  My response, “Why?  She’s alive, isn’t she?”  Granted, this is probably a bit more snarky than is considered polite (I know my Grandma would be shaking her head if she ever heard me say that), and I’m working on showing more grace, but really?  What’s a momma suppose to do?  In my opinion, you do what you feel is right for your child and your family. 

Confession 4:  I’m babywearing and co-sleeping while 28 weeks pregnant.

            This is where most people begin to think I’m a bit nutty and possibly have lost my marbles.  Those who have accepted my practice of babywearing and co-sleeping even give me a little eye roll when they see my pregnant self rocking my Boba with my thirteen month in it.  For some reason there is a perception that either one or both of these practices have to end during pregnancy, but honestly I see no reason to give up either.  My biggest concern about having a second child was making my first child feel as though we didn’t love her enough or drastically changing her lifestyle.  Thus, when I found out I was pregnant when my daughter was seven months old (our plan was to always have our children two years or less apart in age), I knew that I would continue to wear her as long as I was able to and she would remain in our bed until she decided it was time for her to move on. 

            Continuing to babywear and co-sleep while carrying another growing child in your womb isn’t always the easiest thing in the world to do, but I’m very happy with my decision to continue to do so.  Here are some things that I have found that have made pregnant babywearing easier:

1.      Know your limitations.  I once hiked a two hour, straight up hill trail at Yosemite while carrying my daughter in the Boba.  Frankly, that’s not going to happen now.  I have found listening to your body is crucial when wearing your baby during pregnancy.  Some days I can easily carry her for a couple of hours, while others half an hour is the max I can handle. 

2.      Switch to a back carry when baby gets too big or heavy.  This has been the hardest for me as I honestly prefer the front carry over the back carry.  There is something about being able to look my daughter in the eyes that keeps her glued to my front.  I still carry her there 90% of the time, but when my body needs a break, the back is a lot less pressure on my tummy.  I can foresee a lot more back carries coming during this last trimester as my stomach is growing.

3.      Don’t be afraid to adjust, adjust, adjust.  I used to have my Boba dialed in to how I liked it and all I would have to do is strap it on.  Now I fiddle with it every time I use it.  Pregnant bodies feel different on a daily basis, so don’t be afraid to make the Boba (or any other wrap) match your body’s changes.

4.      Let someone else babywear.  My husband has been ecstatic over the fact that he gets to wear our daughter more.  You see we used to constantly fight over who got to wear her, but I typically won out.  Now I let him wear her more when I need a break or we are out for several hours in a row.

5.      If your current carrier isn’t working for you, look at different options.  So far the Boba has worked perfectly for us, but if my stomach starts to get too big or it starts to get too uncomfortable, you can bet your bottom dollar I will be out there finding a better solution.  There are several options with woven wraps that allow for a hip carry, which would probably work really well with a bulging gut.

6.      This is the most important lesson of all: GO TO THE BATHROOM BEFORE YOU START WEARING.  We all know how sensitive a pregnant woman’s bladder is and having a child pressed up against it makes it that much worse.  Going to the bathroom right before I put my daughter on has saved me a lot of discomfort.

Co-sleeping while pregnant hasn’t been nearly as difficult as babywearing.  However, here are a few ideas for making that easier:

1.      Make adjustments as needed.  My daughter loves to sleep on top of me.  Literally.  Although this wasn’t always the most comfortable sleeping position for me, I got used to it as time went on.  However, when I hit that point in pregnancy when lying on my back equated death, I knew I needed to make some adjustments.  I now lay her down on two stacked pillows with my arm underneath her.  This allows her the incline she likes and the closeness she desires, while affording me the comfort of lying on my side.  Once she is asleep, I change my position and she usually moves off the pillows, but that initial position allowed us both to fall asleep more comfortably.

2.      Consider a sidecar.  We are already thinking about how we are going to manage a bed of four.  It would be unsafe to have our toddler sleeping next to our newborn, so we’ve been playing around with a few ideas.  We have a co sleeper that the newborn could use or we could push a toddler bed up against our bed for our daughter to sleep in. Right now we are trying out the second option.  So far, she wants nothing to do with it, but it’s only been out for two weeks.  The thing is to try different solutions out before giving up on something you deeply believe in.  We still have a few months to sort things out, but starting to think about it now ensures we will have a happy full bed of four in the near distant future.

Confession 5:  I’m nothing but proud about it.

            I have learned a lot of things about being a momma and one of them is to stick to your guns on things you feel strongly about.  For me, that includes babywearing and co-sleeping.

How many of you are babywearing, co-sleeping, pregnant mommas out there?  What advice can you give to other pregnant mommas?

 

 

             

 

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